Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize