im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
