i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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