Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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