his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Green mimosas i think yes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
