He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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