When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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