Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
