The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
