I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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