why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
