dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
