There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
