i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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