idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
