I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You were trust falling into bushes
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
