I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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