so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
