do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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