Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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