There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
