Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Randomize
