with your own penis?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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