I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
