i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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