i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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