The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
