i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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