Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
