Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
