Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
how drunk are you?
Several
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
