Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
