So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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