I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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