she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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