WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
