The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
