I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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