I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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