I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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