haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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