Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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