ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
