He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
