im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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