I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize