I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
