Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Quick, to the slutcave!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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