No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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