if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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