fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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