I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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