Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she looked like the before picture.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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