perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
