I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
