i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
