Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
pray to the hookup gods
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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