I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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