I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
