I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
