Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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