Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's always time for handjobs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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