i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
