To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
