I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
