How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
4 words: hood of his car
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
