no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
