***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't deserve a penis
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
