so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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