Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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