this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
