I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
