i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
